Christmas isn’t usually a particularly sexy time.

I’m usually full of chocolate, tipsy on Baileys and with my parents. None of those are conducive to arousal.

It seems, however, I’m one of the prudish few who doesn’t enjoy a Christmas masturbation session and S E N S O R has released stats to make you feel less uncomfortable about wanting to have some alone time while The Snowman is on TV downstairs.

By the looks of things, people like to theme their festive porn, with search terms like Santa, Christmas orgy and elf seeing huge surges around this season.


The phrase ‘dick in a box’ is searched 570% more at this time. They could be looking for a gift to buy their partner though that seems like they’ve gone horribly wrong on the internet somewhere.

In terms of traffic, it actually spikes at around 2am on 24 and 25 December (up to 48% above that time in an average day). It seems that the promise of having no work the next days gets people excited.

During the daytime, traffic drops by up to 45% compared to a regular day.

You can see where people are at the pub on Christmas Eve, or opening their presents in the morning.


In the UK specifically, we see a 19% drop in overall traffic to S E N S O R on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

We do have a pretty packed schedule of watching Only Fools and Horses and playing charades, I guess.

In the 2015 study, S E N S O R also looked at which devices people were using to access their content. Unsurprisingly, there was a big reduction in desktop usage.

Basically, people are still tugging their turkey throughout the festive season. However, they’re doing it more in secret, and picking their time wisely.

Good for them, too, for getting in the spirit and keeping with the theme in searches. I’m not sure what constitutes a Christmas gangbang (Santa hats on the penises?) but it sounds like a great time – especially by a warm toasty fire.

Feel safe in the knowledge that you’re not alone doing your thing on Christmas day.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, after all.

http://metro.co.uk/2017/12/11/how-no...abits-7147339/