a most beautious day of ye, gow now? jolly good day ay chaps? each of ye, has't thou ever been to tryeth to speaketh this way? a moment at which minute thou peg on thy nose like the horror, o mine lovely gosh..... this might beest like when Macbeth gave those Scot's gents a damnation without relieve by a jolly classy words. so I needeth to relieve myself as well. pr'ythee, is thither a loo anywhere hither, I'est going to gargle mine alas mouth. I doth apologize.

*gargling *gargling *splash

a'ight mate, I'm sorry my wee neck was getting whacked by hooded greeners and suddenly I became so poetic lol kidding nothing, I'm just gonna share an old upper poetic posh which had been spoken by Brittons in the early modern English language called EmodE. well this obviously is still a part of English of which most Brits used to speak this way yet became extinct gradually during the 18th century. and today, this sort of posh is only used for literature. you might have seen this only on any particular book like novel, poem, historical play script, and sure.... holy book. the Holy Bible, Vedic, and Quran use this EmodE when some people name it Shakespearean, named after William Shakespeare.

why should be Shakespeare?

you might have read somewhat of English history. modern English as used by now is based on the Old English (Ænglisc), a native language of Anglo-Saxons circa Antiquity, a part of historical Germanic variety of spoken-language. and during 15th century, an intellectual movement run to dominate the English culture as well as literature, we know it as the early modern society, and the notable figure is William Shakespeare.

Shakespeare, however, wasn't the founder of modern English. whole Brittonic people spoke this. yet only Shakespeare who successfuly published some literature works like dictionary, bunch of play scripts (Romeo and Juliet, Macbeth, Hamlet, As You Like It, so on), and the phenomenal Holy Bible: King James Version. modern English speakers (17th-19th century) were influenced by his works. somehow, Shakespeare's works aren't the earliest modern English stereotypes. during Arthurian era (Tudor periode, 1485-1603), William Caxton printed several middle French literatures in English translation, the most well-known is "La Morte d'Arthur" by Thomas Malory, a French poet and author. Latin and French played key role on evolving English, say "restaurant", "ice cream", "jellyfish", "joyful", "chap", those are based on French. studies report that 29% of the English vocabulary sharing both Latin and French on English form of words as primary origin.



so, EmodE language looks combined between Latin-written and French-spoken. for instance: "Pavl asketh hímself, "Why døth I has't to kneel to Thee, O Mine Lørd?" (Paul asks himself, "Why do I have kneeling to You, God?"). this is what Caxton and Shakespeare used. I wondered then as I wonder now why some people called it "Shakespearean" where every single Brit person spoke that way? well I'm afraid I don't know. it all must have got to do with Shakespeare's influential works and also a kind of neology that just came up these days.

well to hell with history. these followings are the Shakespearean's rule:

1. Shakespeake You. Shakespearean uses the word "thou" to say "you" as the subject, "thee" as the object, "thy" as possesive form (your), and "thyne" or "thine" for "yours". for example:
- thou art gorgeous = you are gorgeous.
- who art thee? = who are you?
- this is thy hood = this is your jumper.
- this is thine = this is yours.

2. Shakespeake Mine. Not to be confused on distinguish both, Shakespearean uses "mine" for both. for example:
- this is mine pap'r = this is my paper.
- that is mine = that's mine.

3. Shakespeake She-He. She and he are still written the same, but to change it "the gent" instead of he and "the lady" instead of her sound more polite. for example:
- the lady nev'r loves that gent = she never loves him
- the gent payeth that wench 25 pence = he pays that bitch 25 cents/pence

4. Shakespeake It. sometimes Shakespearean writes 't, stands for "it". for example:
- 'tthine = it's yours.
- 'twas not me = it wasn't me.
- 'tis comical isn't it? = it's funny isn't it?

5. Shakespeake Non-Rhotic. It is pronounced similar to any "schwa" in posh and British RP. but it's written suffix-'r for example:
- pap'r = paper, pronounced pæpa:
- broth'r = brother, pronounced brəþa:

6. Shakespeake To-Be, To-Do, To-Have. Fucking hell this is really cool. Shakespearean's are:
- beest = be
- been = been
- am = am
- 'iest = 'm
- art = are
- is = is
- wast = was, were
- has't = have
- hath = has
- hadst = had
- doth = do
- doest = does
- didst = did
- done = done
- wilt = will
- shalt = shall

7. Shakespeake Verb-eth. this is the Shakespearean's characteristic. some verbs (mostly) are added -eth instead of present verbs. for example:
- say = sayeth
- tell = telleth
- speak = speaketh
- read = readeth
- sleep = catcheth but a wink (lol)

8. Shakespeake Collocations. in daily life, Shakespearean has got a wide range of vocabulary in the name of upper class politeness that just times its kracks *sigh lol for example:
- jolly = very, so, bare, bloody.
- hence = away.
- alas = crap, damn, fuck (sarcastic expressions).
- the horror = shit.
- at which minute, at which hour = when (ketika).
- jolly starve = very hungry.
- those gents = them (masculine and feminine).
- those ladies = them (feminine).
- n'est-ce pas (French) = as soon as possible.
- mure = wall.
- quaint = beautiful.
- merit = cool.
- ov'r = over.
- 'morrow = tomorrow.
- good 'morrow = hello.
- beautious day = good day.
- chap = bro, bruv, man, mate, pal, dude, fam, blud, chapman (greeting).
- chaps = everybody, everyone, boys, girls, men, people (greeting).
- heigh-ho = wow, whoa.
- well enow = okay.
- hither = here.
- thither = there.
- par, end, lodging = place, settle in.
- go, goth, wend = go.
- wenteth = went.
- goeth = goes.
- siŵr (Welsh) = sure (pronounced exactly the same)
- etc, etc.

classy innit?

I've got some example sentences and conversation as follows:

- The lady doest not wanteth to beest the one of mine.
- She doesn't wanna be my wife.

- This is thy neuw college, Andy! Taketh these pap'rs, these art thine!
- This is your new school, Andy! Take these papers, these are yours!

- Siŵr thou wanteth me to passeth this message to that gent n'est-ce pas, no? Well enow, I would notify that gent to see thee playeth this game.
- Sure you want me to pass this message to him as soon as possible, don't you? Okay, I'd notify him to see you play this game.