Kiss: Sure they were a little silly. Just look at those boots. I don't know if Gene Simmons was really scary--well, I wouldn't want to battle him in court, that's for sure--but he did spit blood and breathe fire and sing in a voice that sounded like someone punched him in the stomach a few too many times and Kiss knew how to party and use fireworks and levitating drum risers and sing songs like "Hotter Than Hell" and "God Of Thunder." For them, it was Halloween everyday and they got paid in more than just candy that's for sure.



Honorable Mention: Rob Zombie: Zombie is a virtual industry at this point, making music, movies and other Zombie-like paraphernalia that's established him as a "Go To" guy when it comes to all things Halloween. But he's really too smart to be scary. (That's a compliment, Rob).



Mercyful Fate: Faithful readers of this blog know how keen I am on King Diamond. His goofy Gene Simmons-like makeup and his consistent holding of upside down crosses and petulant screaming make him one of those people who you know you shouldn't invite over for dinner but you do anyway because you have a big heart. And then he throws the punchbowl at your head and your mom tells you that's the last time you can have friends over....but MOM, ...



Insane Clown Posse: Have people died at their concerts? Out of fear? Out of excitement? Out of boredom? Out of unsubstantiated rumors? Horrible rappers, but what a stageshow.



Venom: File under: Guys Who Hang With Satan. I don't like to say that anyone can bring "bad vibes" with them, but when you put on a Venom record you definitely feel a change in the air. It's like when my mom would make meatloaf and the whole house would smell bad because she didn't know how to make it and she put all these weird ingredients in it. That's how I got lead poisoning. What's your story?




The Mentors: Well, their singer's dead so they're not as scary, though they have been on the "comeback" trail from time to time. Wikipedia, the authority on everything arbitrary, calls them a "rape rock band" known for their "sexist lyrics." With tunes like "Golden Shower," you have to take your chances as an audience member since you never know when life is going to start imitating art.



Slipknot: Let's hear it for guys who fear they're too ugly to show their real faces. Is that the deal here? Most guys form bands to get girls. How do you get them if nobody knows who you are? "Yeah, I was the guy with the bass guitar in Slipknot." I've never tried it, but I wonder if it works?