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[Writing] Improve your writing, get it revised by others
We had this thread before, checking other people's writing.
So shall I go first?
Here's the text.
Despite the intensive and short period of the course, I was able to befriend with other students, especially those from Hong Kong. I am very fortunate to have taken Prof. Chois managerial accounting. What Ive experienced through this course is just inexplicable. BUT, I am confident that it was an overwhelmingly positive experience.
Feel free to edit.
So shall I go first?
Here's the text.
Despite the intensive and short period of the course, I was able to befriend with other students, especially those from Hong Kong. I am very fortunate to have taken Prof. Chois managerial accounting. What Ive experienced through this course is just inexplicable. BUT, I am confident that it was an overwhelmingly positive experience.
Feel free to edit.
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aurora..
#4324
Writing Simulation #1
![[Writing] Improve your writing, get it revised by others](https://s.kaskus.id/images/2024/05/22/9481769_20240522120228.jpg)
Source of Image:My own creation
The graph and the pie charts above illustrates the number of males and females in Indonesia in 2000, 2010 and 2020.
In 2000, the number of males and females in Indonesia were 103,417,180 males and 102,847,415 females. It means, in 2000, there were six hundred thousand more males than females in Indonesia.
From 2000 to 2010, the number of males and females in Indonesia gained significantly into 119,630,913 males and 118,010,413 females in 2010. It means, in 2010, there were 1.5 million more males than females in Indonesia.
From 2010 to 2020, the number of males and females in Indonesia gained significantly again into 139,388,929 males and 136,384,845 females in 2020. It means, in 2020, there were 3 million more males than females in Indonesia.
It can be deduced that in the year of 2000, 2010 and 2020, Indonesia was a male-dominated country. It can also be deduced that the number of Indonesian males and females had gained significantly twice from 2000 to 2010 and from 2010 to 2020.
In 2000, the number of males and females in Indonesia were 103,417,180 males and 102,847,415 females. It means, in 2000, there were six hundred thousand more males than females in Indonesia.
From 2000 to 2010, the number of males and females in Indonesia gained significantly into 119,630,913 males and 118,010,413 females in 2010. It means, in 2010, there were 1.5 million more males than females in Indonesia.
From 2010 to 2020, the number of males and females in Indonesia gained significantly again into 139,388,929 males and 136,384,845 females in 2020. It means, in 2020, there were 3 million more males than females in Indonesia.
It can be deduced that in the year of 2000, 2010 and 2020, Indonesia was a male-dominated country. It can also be deduced that the number of Indonesian males and females had gained significantly twice from 2000 to 2010 and from 2010 to 2020.
Source:Badan Pusat Statistik Republik Indonesia
@rahan
Diubah oleh aurora.. 22-05-2024 07:30
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