Saya rena.
2 tahun yang lalu didiagnosa schizotypal, dan sekarang aku sudah lepas obat-obatan.

Kami baru saja pindah ke daerah pelosok yg kental dng nuansa agama setelah puluhan tahun menetap di kota. Sulit beradaptasi, mencari teman krn aku agnostik introvert. Merasa kesepian, tidak ada siapa2 yg bisa diajak bicara..

The thing is, i don't have a reason to live.

There's nothing i want out of life.
Ga ada yg aku cari di dunia ini....

Really, there's nothing i want from life. I have no goals. No ambitions. No motivation. There's nothing i want to do.

I just view life a lot differently than I used to. Nothing excites me. And nothing looks appealing enough to pursue, either.

I feel like an old person just waiting to die, like I’ve experienced all that life has to offer and that I, at some point, stumbled upon what I was supposed to do in this life, and now there’s nothing left to do or work towards.

Everything seems pointless for me. Jobs/Success/Money are meaningless..

Aku literally ga tertarik dan mencari apa2 lagi di dunia ini..
Ga punya keinginan menikah, punya anak, dst dst..

Hidupku sekarang seperti zombie, yg hanya coba bertahan melewati hari dari hari ke sehari...

I need some kind of purpose in life. Aku ingin punya tujuan. Masalahnya bener2 ga ada lagi yg aku cari di hidup ini.

Aku ga ingin hidup hanya utk sekedar bertahan hidup saja. I'm bored. I'm lonely. I can't enjoy life..

Aku butuh bantuan. Rasanya ingin mati dan ga ingin hidup lagi..