The Spanish bull tramples Australia’s kangaroo, as the Netherlands’ lion devours Chile’s North Andean huemul.

Winner: Spain
Runner Up: Netherlands

In the battle of the birds, Colombia’s Andean condor demolishes Japan’s green pheasant. Meanwhile, the Ivory Coast’s African elephant slays Greece’s dolphin, since dolphins shouldn’t be on land, anyway.

Winner: Ivory Coast
Runner Up: Colombia

Uruguay’s rufous hornero never saw the Italian wolf until it was too late. Same goes for the white-tailed deer from Costa Rica, whose last thought was, “Wait, is that a lion?”

Winner: Italy
Runner Up: England

Honduras’ white-tailed deer is no match for the mighty wing span of Ecuador’s Andean condor, and is thusly forced off a cliff to its demise. And poor Switzerland’s cow is slowly pecked to death by France’s gallic rooster. Sacré bleu!

Winner: Ecuador
Runner Up: France

Like Cameroon, Bosnia and Herzegovina is disqualified for not having a national animal. This is bad news for Iran’s Persian cat, since Nigeria’s eagle is allergic and decides to take no mercy on the furry feline. This is good news for Argentina’s rufous hornero, who gets a free ticket into the next round.

Winner: Nigeria
Runner Up: Argentina

Holy crap! It’s the battle of the eagles! And one rooster! Germany’s golden eagle faces off against Ghana’s eagle, ultimately destroying it since, like The Highlander, there can only be one. At the same time, Portugal’s Barcelos cock plays dirty and convinces the United States’ bald eagle to stay up late partying, leaving it hungover and vulnerable. Needless to say, the cock triumphs.

Winner: Portugal
Runner Up: Germany

The Russian bear and Belgium’s lion have an epic battle, but the bear is just too much for the poor kitty in the end. And Algeria’s adorable fennec fox is swallowed whole by South Korea’s tiger.

Winner: Russia
Runner Up: S. Korea

Slow and full from eating Chile’s huemul, Netherlands’ lion is outmatched by Brazil’s jaguar. In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion dies tonight.

Winner: Brazil

Though swift and cunning, Mexico’s golden eagle ends up with a horn to the belly, courtesy of Spain’s bull.

Winner: Spain

It was easy for the Ivory Coast’s African elephant to defeat Greece’s dolphin, but it is an entirely different story when faced with an actual opponent like England’s lion. In the end, the lion emerges victorious with a stomach full of elephant meat.

Winner: England

Colombia’s Andean condor gets a little too cocky and strikes too soon, which is just what the Italian wolf wants.

Winner: Italy[/QUOTE]

Just when France’s rooster is about to deliver the death blow, Nigeria’s eagle sinks its talons into the rooster’s neck, producing a gushing stream of Gallic blood.

Winner: Nigeria

Duh, South Korea’s tiger has chicken for dinner.

Winner: S. Korea

Germany’s golden eagle never really stood a chance when it faced Russia’s bear. Yeah, it got some good scratches in, but, y’know… It’s a bear, for chrissake.

Winner: Russia

In a bloody, messy, drag out fight, the Brazilian jaguar is left standing. The circle of life, indeed.

Winner: Brazil

Wow. What a fight. Spain’s bull almost looks to be on its last legs after being attacked nonstop by Italy’s wolf. However, the bull, with one final charge, flings the wolf into air, sending its lifeless body crashing to the ground below.

Winner: Spain

With one fatal swat, Russia’s bear ends the life of Nigeria’s golden eagle, then proceeds to make a hat out of the slain bird’s feathers.

Winner: Russia

LOL. Brazil’s jaguar immediately kills Argentina’s little bird, then continues to play with its lifeless corpse for the next 90 minutes.

Winner: Brazil

Oh, Russia. Things were going so well until you literally messed with the bull and got the horns.

Winner: Spain

Lord almighty, this was a match for the ages. Legs were broken and blood was let as the crowd watched on in abject horror. During stoppage time, Spain’s bull, barely breathing, lunged at Brazil’s fatigued jaguar one last time.

What the once-feared bull didn’t realize, though, was that the jaguar was feigning being tired, and with one lightning quick swipe it tore the heart from the bull’s body. “Not in my house,” said the jaguar, before proceeding to eat the heart in front of the cheering stadium.