The first grade concert is fast approaching and Johnny
has still not decided what he will do. Little Mary is going to
do a piano solo, Timmy will recite a poem, but Johnny
can't come up with anything. Finally, his frustrated teacher
is relieved when he tells her he has worked out his act.

Come the night of the concert, all the proud parents fill the
hall
and watch as Mary, in her prettiest dress, tinkles the
ivories to
rapturous applause . . .

Then Timmy steps out in his best suit and recites his
poems to the delight of the audience.

Finally, out comes Johnny, in check shirt and denim
overalls.
He steps up to the microphone and says . . .

" Ladies and Gentlemen. My uncle owns a farm and every
holiday I visit him there. Tonight, I would like to share with
you my impression of some of the many sounds I hear on
my uncle's farm. Here is the first . . . . ' JOHNNY ! GET
OFF THAT FUCKING TRACTOR ! ' "