Foolish mortals, I shall destroy all of your cars! Everyone get out of the way, I don't want you to get hurt when I explode all of your cars! Something something avenge the world Good, I think that's enough awkward sandwiching in of the word "Avengers" to justify the title Let's do it!
Well, now that someone has died due to our egomania and tardiness, I feel like we can finally call ourselves the Avengers and validate our namesake Teamwork! My Random Quip Generator got damaged in the last fight, so yeah, I'm in
I need to go manually fix the engines of this helicarrier so we don't all die! Evans, demonstrate your value to the team by pulling a red lever when I ask, and occasionally shooting bad guys with the same gun that any old dips$#t can use!
Well I trust them completely, I know they escorted Natalie Portman to safety because they put her headshot on a monitor and spent the time to explain why her contract negotiations fell through We'll find out soon enough, I've set my phone to automatically hack the top-secret government agency's ent
I don't trust that guy I think he wants to use the Blue Cube to build a nuclear deterrent, which upsets me even though the exact same argument was made against my suit in my last movie
Unfortunately, we're unable to make progress because we all instantly hate each other for no particular reason!
Quick, someone think of a super contrived reason for us to fight! I'll fight you because you want to fight your brother, who I also want to fight!
Hey, I heard you guys were trying to trade humorous barbs Whedon saved all those for me, knock it off. Chris, you look like a big blue %$#@, har har!
Of course! NOT doing that would make me an enormously raging douchebag, and I learned that lesson in the original Iron Man. And Iron Man 2. And The Avengers.
And now for the traditional post-credits surprise... I was narrating to Mark Ruffalo the whole time! Exciting, huh? Look, it was either that or an Ant-Man teaser
So I fixed Gwyneth so she won’t overheat and blow up now I also fixed my heart shrapnel and the gaping hole in my chest, because I realized something... I AM this franchise Me, Robert Downey #$%@ing Junior You hear that, Marvel? Get the damn checkbook ready
Yup, the Extremis super-soldier thing regenerated me. And, somehow, my sports bra Well, I now realize it was paranoid and foolish of me to build all that extra armor, even though it just saved all our asses And even though we know FOR A FACT that hostile alien armadas could attack Earth at any t
RAAARGH! YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME ROBERT! Because I AM the Mandarin! Phew, I'd hate to be fighting the guy who just killed the love of my life WITHOUT him having a goofy supervillain name
Now you're trapped, Robert! As soon as I get over there, I’m going to kill you with my bare hands! It’s a good thing you can’t spit fire or something and kill me from a distance