The Deep Sea Never Sees The Moon Novel by Caleb Parris _ Novel





The Deep Sea Never Sees The Moon Chapter 01

Every time I had tried to kill myself, my husband Caspian had been the one to save me.
But this time, when I locked the bathroom door and slid the blade across my wrist with perfect calm.
He stormed in, dragged me into the bathroom, shoved me into the tub, and turned the icy water on full blast.
"You want to die? Fine. I'll help you.
"If your father hadn't guilt-tripped me into marrying you, if you hadn't insisted on giving birth to this burden, I wouldn't be living in hell right now."
Yes, he was right, our autistic son was a burden, even though I went to therapy, trying my best to play the role of a dutiful wife and mother.
Maybe he could only be free when we were dead.
Just then, his phone screen lit up.
McKenzie Grant's name flashed across it. Instinctively, he let go of me to text her back.
Blood spiraled through the water, blooming like ink. I let myself sink.
***
But Caspian dragged me out of the water anyway.
I was choking.
Before I could even catch my breath, his palm came down hard across my face.
"Rosalie! Have you had enough? It's been five years! You think you're the only one in pain? Have you ever once stopped to care about how I feel?"
My cheek burned.
The next moment, he pulled me into his arms, his scalding tears soaking into my neck.
"Do you know what I'm most afraid of every single day? It's not the business failing or Mal acting out."
His voice shook.
"It's the phone ringing... A call from the hospital, or the police, telling me something's happened to you."
He expertly found the bandages and wrapped my wrist.
From the bedroom came Malcolm's shrill cries, followed by the sound of him pounding on the door.
Caspian immediately dropped everything and rushed off.
Exhausted, I slowly picked my way through the wreckage, putting the house back in order.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, head bowed. "For all the trouble."
Caspian didn't respond.
He pulled out his cigarettes and walked to the balcony.
The lighter clicked several times before the flame finally caught.
Just then, his phone rang. The ringtone was a soft piano melody—the one he'd set specifically for McKenzie.
He immediately answered. "Mackie."
"Cass, it hurts my heart every time I see you."
Her voice trembled with the perfect trace of a sob.
"You were supposed to shine like diamonds. But now, you're trapped in a living hell.
"Having a child like that and a wife who's always trying to kill herself—anyone else would've collapsed long ago.
"Life's been too cruel to you. You deserve pure love, a peaceful life, and a real home with someone who understands you—someone who can truly be your comfort."
Silence stretched on.
When the wind nearly blew out his cigarette, Caspian finally spoke, his voice hoarse. "Yeah... If only I had married you instead."
I couldn't help thinking—what was I to him?
A burden bound to him by an old favor? A chain forged by a child? Or a failure who couldn't even control her own emotions?
I lifted the glass and sipped the cold water.
It slid down my throat, spreading a chill that seeped into the hollow inside me.
Early the next morning, the door opened.
McKenzie stood there, framed by the light.
"Rosalie," she said crisply.
"I know you're in pain. But Cass is suffering more.
"Even if you can't stand in his shoes, at least stop being his burden, okay?
"I'm begging you. Can you just ... try to hold yourself together?
"If you keep this up, you're going to break him."
I studied her for a long moment before answering. "Ms. Grant."
My voice was hoarse yet steady.
"Our family matters are not your concern."
I moved to close the door.
"Please leave."
My hand had just touched the doorframe when she gasped.
"Ah!"
She stumbled back, clutching her hand, her eyes instantly welling up.
Caspian's face darkened at once.
He dashed over, grabbed my arm, and shoved me away from the door.
I slammed into the wall with a thud.
"Rosalie!" he barked, his eyes blazing with anger and deep disappointment.
"Is this what you want? To make everyone as miserable as you are?"
"Cass, please," McKenzie said, her voice trembling as she fought back tears. "Don't blame Rosalie. I stumbled..."
"Don't defend her. I know what she's like."
Caspian shut his eyes.
When he opened them again, there was nothing left inside but utter exhaustion.
"Do you know Mackie spent three months taking special education classes just to help you take care of Mal? Today, she even took leave to take Mal to the sensory park for therapy!"
McKenzie chose that moment to crouch down and extend her hand to Malcolm with a bright smile. "Come with me to somewhere fun, okay?"
A sharp pain stabbed my chest. Without thinking, I stepped between them.
Malcolm feared strangers and hated being touched. Sudden changes could easily overwhelm him.
Even kindness from someone unfamiliar could trigger him.
Yet his small hand lifted—slipping past me—and gently caught the hem of McKenzie's dress.
"Okay.
"Thanks, Mackie."

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