ane mau tanya nih,
"Apakah benar 'Arranged marriage/Perjodohan' bisa berjalan/realistis?"
"Apakah benar 'Cinta sejati bertumbuh setelah beberapa tahun hidup bersama'?
Salah satu cuplikan komentar soal "Arranged marriage":
The Testimony of a Hindu woman:
"I asked a Hindu woman some years ago how she felt about her future arranged marriage. She believed that an arranged marriage was better than one based on emotions. She believed that her parents could make a better non-emotional decision based on faith, wealth, personalities, and other factors. She said that true love comes only after years of living together. Love does not blossom into a full flower while dating or indulging in pre-marital sex. Marriage is learning to live with and love another person. Marriages based on emotions often result in divorce. She was correct.
menurut situs: http://thenextgalaxy.com/arranged-marriage-advantages-and-disadvantages-list/
1. The “One”
People who are placed in an arranged marriage do not have to worry about the dating world, or waiting for the “one”. This takes a lot of stress and anxiety out of life.
(Komen ane: nah ini dia yang ngeselin, menurut ane.... kalau terlalu lama nunggu/nyari, bisa jadi perawan tuek.... (ane serius nih).... di mana si cewek mencari Mr. Perfect.... dan si cowok mencari Mrs. Perfect....)
2. Parental Discretion
Your parents are the ones who choose who you are to marry, so you do not have to worry about them liking your spouse. The same goes for having to worry about your in-laws approving of you.
3. Same Values
Your parents will choose your spouse extremely carefully. They will make sure it is someone who matches your own beliefs and values to ensure compatibility.
4. Close To Your Roots
Participating in an arranged marriage can make you feel much closer to your family, and your culture. Arranged marriages are highly traditional and renowned.
5. Love Grows
While you may not say your I Do’s completely love struck, that doesn’t mean the you are doomed to a loveless marriage. Love takes time, but will (hopefully) bloom.
With two parents of the exact same background, religion, and culture your children will grow up immersed in theirs. You do not have to worry about conflicting views on things like that because they where discussed ahead of time.
1. Wedding Blues
You may feel like your wedding is not your own. You do not know the person you are marrying nor their family. It is completely done by the families, the bride and groom have very little say in their wedding ceremony.
2. Dating Deprived
Dating is taken out of the equation when you have an arranged marriage. You do not get the opportunity to figure out what you do and do not like in a partner.
(Komen ane: jadi seperti milih kucing dalam karung nih.... )
3. Placing Blame
If any marital problems arise between the couple then the parents are often the first the be blamed. Especially if the marriage results in a divorce, the family is humiliated because it is perceived as their fault.
4. Family Ties
It is inevitable that you family will be very highly involved in your life. This includes your married life. This can cause problems between the married couple.
5. Waiting For Love
Love takes a long time to develop. When two people are thrown into a marriage that isn’t based on the foundation of love, it may take quite some time for these feeling to develop. This can lead to depression, misery, and divorce.
6. No Diversity
Arranged marriages focus on keeping tradition and culture alive. This sadly means that they do not stray from their cultural background.
7. Identity Loss
People may find themselves changing what they like or who they are in order to fit into their spouses or family’s ideals. This can be very damaging.
(Komen ane: masalah dengan mertua.... sudah biasa.... )
*) ya.... semua tergantung pada yang terlibat pada perkimpoian tsb (terlebih pada pasutri tsb.).... entah "love marriage" (cari sendiri, menemukan love-in-first-sight.... tapi jelas lebih sulit & makan waktu) atau "arranged marriage", apabila pada perkimpoian itu sendiri masing-masing pihak gak bisa saling memahami/mentolerir, ya.... akhirnya cerai juga....
Sekedar info saja:
1. Penganut modern "arranged marriage" ini adalah orang India & orang Yahudi
2. Jumlah perceraian arranged marriage sekitar 6% --- dibandingkan dengan 55% arranged marriage yang terjadi di seluruh dunia.... katanya situs yg ane kutip, cukup kecil perceraiannya.... jadi dianggap cukup berhasil lah.... itu katanya situsnya lho, bukan kata ane....
(55% pernikahan di seluruh dunia adalah "arranged marriage", selebihnya (45%) adalah "love marriage")
Testi Pengalaman (kalau ada):
P. S. : Kalau ada yg ga seneng dengan trit ini, tinggal lapor momod aja....