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Komputer Super Canggih
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Kak.Edy
Komputer Super Canggih
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Ane terjemahkan bebas Gan
Spoiler for cerita asli:
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."
Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."
Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
Ane terjemahkan bebas Gan
Quote:
Suatu hari Bedu mengeluh dengan temannya si Bejo bahwa Sikunya sakit. Bejo kemudian menyarankan Bedu untuk pergi ke Apotik, disana ada sebuah Komputer canggih yang dapat mendiagnosa penyakit lebih cepat dan lebih murah daripada pergi ke Dokter.
Carnya sederhana. "cukup taruh urine kamu dan bayar Rp. 10 ribu" komputer akan menganalisa sakit kamu dan membuatkan resepnya. Bedu sangat tertarik untuk mencoba kecanggihan komputer tersebut. dia kemudian menampung urine_nya dan pergi ke Apotik. Kemudian Bedu menuang Urine ke wadah dekat komputer tersebut dan memasukkan uang 10ribu. Komputer kemudian mulai menganalisa dan kemudian keluar kertas hasil print dari komputer tersebut. Isi kertas tersebut sbb: "Pergelangan Anda Keseleo. silahkan rendam dengan air hangat, jangan angkat beban berat. tunggu dalam 2 minggu akan sembuh"
Keesokan harinya Bedu termenung di teras sambil memikirkan kecanggihan alat tersebut. "ini penenmuan hebat, sangat bermanfaat buat ilmu kedokteran." Kemudian timbul niatnya untuk mengetes kembali kecanggihan komputer tersebut. Bedu kemudian mencampur Air PAM, kotoran anjing, dan urine dari istri dan anak gadisnya. nggak lupa dia col* dan memasukkan hasilnya ke wadah urine tersebut. Bedu kemudian pergi ke komputer canggih tersebut dan mulai test lagi setelah memasukkan uang Rp. 10ribu. tak lama kemudian komputer canggih tersebut mengeluarkan hasil analisanya.
" Air PAM anda terlalu kotor, cari air yang lebih bersih. Anjing Anda cacingan, kasih dia vitamin. Anak Gadis anda Pakai Narkoba, silahkan di rehabilitasi. istri anda hamila anak kembar, tapi itu bukan anak Anda. siapkan pengacara. Dan jika anda nggak berhanti col* keseleo Anda akan makin parah dan nggak akan sembuh"
Carnya sederhana. "cukup taruh urine kamu dan bayar Rp. 10 ribu" komputer akan menganalisa sakit kamu dan membuatkan resepnya. Bedu sangat tertarik untuk mencoba kecanggihan komputer tersebut. dia kemudian menampung urine_nya dan pergi ke Apotik. Kemudian Bedu menuang Urine ke wadah dekat komputer tersebut dan memasukkan uang 10ribu. Komputer kemudian mulai menganalisa dan kemudian keluar kertas hasil print dari komputer tersebut. Isi kertas tersebut sbb: "Pergelangan Anda Keseleo. silahkan rendam dengan air hangat, jangan angkat beban berat. tunggu dalam 2 minggu akan sembuh"
Keesokan harinya Bedu termenung di teras sambil memikirkan kecanggihan alat tersebut. "ini penenmuan hebat, sangat bermanfaat buat ilmu kedokteran." Kemudian timbul niatnya untuk mengetes kembali kecanggihan komputer tersebut. Bedu kemudian mencampur Air PAM, kotoran anjing, dan urine dari istri dan anak gadisnya. nggak lupa dia col* dan memasukkan hasilnya ke wadah urine tersebut. Bedu kemudian pergi ke komputer canggih tersebut dan mulai test lagi setelah memasukkan uang Rp. 10ribu. tak lama kemudian komputer canggih tersebut mengeluarkan hasil analisanya.
" Air PAM anda terlalu kotor, cari air yang lebih bersih. Anjing Anda cacingan, kasih dia vitamin. Anak Gadis anda Pakai Narkoba, silahkan di rehabilitasi. istri anda hamila anak kembar, tapi itu bukan anak Anda. siapkan pengacara. Dan jika anda nggak berhanti col* keseleo Anda akan makin parah dan nggak akan sembuh"
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