Ke$ha: A Party-Ready Condor

Nicki Minaj: A Crazy-Ass Flamingo

Katy Perry: A Showy Peacock

Britney Spears: An All-American Eagle

Beyoncé: A Fierce Falcon

One Direction: Some Loud and Needy Yet Totally Adorable Baby Birds

Lady Gaga: A Parrot That Makes Its Presence Known

Rihanna: A Cardinal That Doesn’t Care What You Think

Justin Bieber: This Lil’ Guy That’s Totally Chill and Has Plenty of Swag

Adele: A Soulful Owl

Taylor Swift: An Earnest Swan

Usher: A Puffin That Can Get Down

Robyn: An Actual Robin

Kelly Clarkson: A Super-Chill Hawk

Drake: A Rad Duck That Totally Knows What’s Up

Kanye West: This Bird That Is Misunderstood

Madonna: An Overly Intense Penguin

Skrillex: A Woodpecker That Makes Your Parents Furrow Their Brow

Eminem: An Ostrich You Wouldn’t Want To Mess With

Kylie Minogue: A Fabulous Dove

Mariah Carey: A Warbling Cockatiel That Won’t Sleep Unless There’s a Sheet Over Its Cage

Chris Brown: Whatever Douchebag Bird Did This